Is my poem any good, need a poets view? Hi all.I love writing poetry in my free time and I was asked to write a poem for a college brief, which I will have to read out in front of many people (gulp). Just wanted some feedback preferably from someone who has experience with writing poetry, thank you in advance and a very happy Christmas to you.Mind in the MindWe listened to the sound of a thousand strong crowdA million different emotions laid bare before our ears could reactThe problems may be out of the shattered window, but they remain in the wind or the rainThey can return like a nightmare in your sleepless bedYour eyes flooding with water like a holy fountain of despair, the sky turns green the grass it turns blueWhat is Communication?Who smiled the first smile?Who cried the first cry?Who laughed the first laugh?Who died the first death?Who tarnished their reputations and wrote letters lacking in logicWho ridded their loyalties and tried their tired luckWho forgot their makerWho settled for less than they were destinedWho cheated on their loverWho asked for the hand of forgivenessWho lived rough in the cafes and docksWho stored their money in tin cansWho watched while people laughed at their trauma fuelled existenceWhat be CommunicationWhy do you fill your lungs with toxic haze?Why are they laughing at their endless funeral?Why is she not speaking or has her fragile lucid mind been drugged?Why is that poor soul forever alone?Why are they swallowed in a bubble of fantasy?Why are they dressing in peculiar clothes?Why has their character precipitously changed like something tweaked their brains?Why do they speak their language with ridged cautiousness?Why did they build their bridge with wood and ignite it in a swirl of ash and splinters?Why did man create objects of severe lethality?Why did people become slaves to money?Why does he whisper when he speaks yet she screams with hatred and rage in rings and rings of higher and higher volumeWhy are you squandering time on inevitably unwanted one who will throw away your name?Why does your hands tremble and voice slip in it’s rhythm?I could see lies through many a politicians eyesThe people need answers, not webs of disillusioned crafted dead promises made from cold steelThe streets lay filled with banners and signs, young, old, black and white, angry but calm, silenced but loud, weak but with power, poor and the rich are all among us waiting in patience for justices truth tellingDown the halls the endless halls, graffiti sheids the walls with gibberish and actualityDingy lights flicker dim to dullA tropical twist and a hawaiian sun, the stone faced folks make up the vibe of the atmosphereA plastic love of heating kissing of cheap thrills will surely melt awayA restless unloved child will only grow wise with age and rebel against all, what else must you expect?In a distant sky a red moon will glare over the lake of voices and turn strings of tunes into joyful remediesBut a scream could cut the mood like a knife to a vein, a drastic change will give rise to a hope in a new dayA rebirth of laughter is beyond the horizon, over the hills or in the forestsCommon sense prevailed, it arose from the ashes to form goodwill gestures among the young and old, among the men and the womenA train filled with strangers. Yet I someone felt I knew them all, I could read their thoughts, trace each breath, bury their failures and dig up their successesAnd music? Music is the language of the universe, it can speak to us all. A guitar a piano, man created it allModern Technology.Facebook, Twitter, Skype, Internet and the mobile phone. My generation never had it so charmingly convenientThat may have been Communication..
Sheet music for Hall – Hawaiian Moon is available for downloading in digital format.
Hi Zimmy!I’m not a poet but your poem seems right on spot to me. Good luck with your presentation :).It’s so good to see you back. I’ve sent you a couple of emails and have missed you tremendously! Best Wishes for Christmas and the New Year!
hosting a bridal shower for my future daughter in law? looking for some ideas,i rented a hall,got the dj,all the food,looking for some ideas for center pieces for the tables,something Hawaiian ,as a suprise for my son and soon to be daughter in law,my husband and i are giving them 2 tickets to hawaii for a 10 day honey moon
wow what a wonderful gift and idea for the shower.you could do any of the following:1) single orchid or an arrangement of tropical flowers2) blooms floating is a bowl with candles3) pineapple centerpieces 4) floral arrangement in a bowl with tropical fish
Stores with names like Party Depot have a whole section of luau theme party goods. They have them year round here in Florida but they might be seasonal where you live. If so, you want to stock up before the season ends. Pineapple tops in shallow dishes with blossoms floating in a thin sheet of water is lovely, if you planning on cutting up and serving pineapples. If you can remove the tough outer layers as a cylander and use the narrow end of a metal funnel to punch holes; put a votive inside for great candles. Coconuts are versatile too, if available to you. Drape inexpensive paper leis over chair backs and chandeliers — and every neck in sight. If you want to be really authentic, serve macaroni salad (aloha style) and Jerry’s Navy Rum.
orientaltrading.com has tons of Hawaiian-themed favors and decorations for very cheap.everything from hula dancers to tiki torches to Hawaiian (and wedding!) themed rubber ducks! You can also buy leis in bulk!If you’re playing any games, which I know shower games have a bad reputation.I hate them too. We actually played a cool game where all the guests broke into groups and using toilet paper (each group got 1 roll), they choose someone in the group to be the “bride” and they made him/her a toilet paper wedding gown. After the allotted time frame, all the “brides” had to put on a fashion show and a bartender at the party chose the winner. It was fun and guys got into it too!That’s very nice of you to set them up for their honeymoon! Best wishes!